Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The "JUST WAIT" Phenomenon

This past weekend Aaron and I hit the road again. This time it was for two different things. We drive to Jillian's in Virginia and then he continued on home to meet up with the rest of the Faro family to see Brett's playoff games. It was a lot of travel again but well worth it. Brett won so they're still in it! While Aaron was there watching that all go down, I spent the weekend immersed in baby shower activities for Jill where I learned quite a few things...
Brace yourself, parts of this may sound like a rant against pregnancy...I assure you, its not. It's funny, once you are entering the next phase of life, everyone that has already been there assumes that you are just waiting to hear all the things they've learned and all the "wisdom" they claim to have. It was like that getting married and it's even more like that when you're pregnant! It's a lesson I'm trying to remind myself when my first instinct is to share my personal experience and oh so wise advice...think before you trap someone with your own story! Better yet, ask them if they want to hear it, don't just assume they do! I'm not saying you can't learn from others...I know that is quite false...learning from people that have already been down a certain road is wise...I just rather it be from people I know well, like family and close friends. People you barely know think they have the right to advise you on being a parent! P.S. - They also think that can touch your belly...they can't. It's weird and rude. I've grown to really appreciate those that say, "oh, can I feel your belly?" Merely asking makes it a little less invasive and awkward. Again, family and friends you know well are a different story...I'm referring to the people you barely know.
Pregnancy has also made me aware of another phenomenon...the one mentioned in the title of this post. The "JUST WAIT" phenomenon. Why is it that every single person asks you how you feel, and if you've had your ultrasound, and if you've picked out names and all that other fun stuff, but really, they are just waiting for you to stop answering so they can tell you about themselves...and inevitably...after you tell them things you're experiencing they think that's hard, "JUST WAIT". It's really rude to minimize what is happening at the moment purely to tell someone what happened to YOU later on. It is not encouraging either! There are quite a few things that require lots of physical and emotional adjustment...and they do feel difficult sometimes. Why must you tell me that what I'm dealing with right now is nothing in the grand scheme of what's about to happen to me? You're not fostering the excitment that should be coming with each phase. Regardless of the strange things that are happening, each phase feels very different and I'm trying to enjoy the positives of each one without sprinting ahead to other things. So please stop volunteering all the negative of what I'm walking into and stop making me feel like what I'm feeling is trivial.
On to a more positive side of things...for those that are wondering...I'm between 21 and 22 weeks at the moment and yes, I have a belly and can't fit in my pants anymore. So those that will see us at Christmas will get to see a belly for sure. As far as how I'm feeling, it's up and down still. I've been having tons of headaches and dizzy spells and don't really feel as good as people told me the second trimester would feel like. My doctor told me I need to drink more water so I've been doing that but so far it hasn't changed much. I am feeling the baby move around in there...that is pretty surreal! It moves around a lot so its a fun reminder that something is actually growing inside me! Makes the headaches not seem so bad sometimes :-) Sadly, you can't feel the movement from the outside yet so Aaron has yet to feel it move. Maybe soon.
The baby shower plans are in motion which is also fun to think about...especially just coming from Jillian's. I'll have one with the Faro's right before Christmas and one on Long Island right after. The registry is up and running for the showers and I'm looking forward to them! Amy, great work on the invitations....they look great!


Amy said...

"halt with your two wisdom tooth story"

I will not rub your belly without permission and I won't tell you all my pregnancy tales, I promise!

And I love the picture!
I'm glad you like the invitations. We missed you this weekend

Mama F said...

You look as beautiful as ever! Couldn't you have tipped a little to the side so we could have REALLY seen your belly??? I so remember that first movement inside me when I was pregnant with Aaron---I just couldn't stop smiling because it was SO cool. I'm glad you are trying to ignore those who want to make pregnancy one big horror show and enjoy the experience because it is such an exciting time. Even though it comes with some changes that are not always pleasant, I can guarantee you that it is well worth it! So enjoy the ride!

Mom of 2 Cuties said...

Those first movements are soooo cool. Hope your headaches and dizziness go away soon.

Missed you this past weekend.

sarah said...

I love your little belly and I'm so excited you are feeling the baby move! I am waiting to feel that again. It helps make the other things you are feeling worth it. Hopefully we'll be able to catch up in a couple weeks! Have a great Thanksgiving!

welcome to the whirlwind we call our lives!